Mutual Astrology

Writing is something I have always been able to use to release what I’m feeling.

It is also my core wound. My Chiron in Gemini is all about expression. But expression for me is difficult. I think a lot but I often don’t say what I think. And this is explained by my Chiron in Gemini being retrograde in my natal chart. I process my wound very much by thinking about it and assessing it internally.

I can intellectualize my feelings more often than I can feel them without judgment. And today is one of those days for me. I have been trying to work through the heaviness of how I feel this last week and it hasn’t really worked out.

I got highly frustrated because of this. Because if nothing is going to change by feeling things then why feel them. But that isn’t how the body truly works. You cant truly ignore and intellectualize your feelings , not for very long anyways and not when they are overwhelming your emotional and nervous systems.

In fact trying to suppress them makes them stronger and then eventually they leak out sideways on the wrong people or you blow up outwardly.

I have been trying to sit wit them lately. Not suppress them and not try to numb them in some way with substances. I learned early in my life emotions and feeling things was “wrong” and I also learned my voice didn’t matter. So as an adult now I struggle to say how I feel thinking if I just fix it some other way or ignore it, it will go away. Never works.

It’s uncomfortable to actually sit with it. To just truly not try to “fix” it. Because sometimes there isn’t anything to do. It just has to be felt and then released.

It sounds so simple but when your inside that space its anxiety inducing. Sometimes I try to put my music on and just vibe my feelings away but that hasn’t even been working like it once did.

I did some deeper research in my chart and found I had a Capricorn progressed Moon. Essentially this means that im learning better control my emotions but with a natal Cancer Moon this causes tension and issues. I am working at this time on my boundaries with people especially in feelings and attachments. But with the opposition of my natal Cancer Moon and my progressed Capricorn Moon that just started recently this year this is going to be a difficult year for me emotionally. Cancer wants to care nurture and FEEL everything and Capricorn wants to structure it, contain it in some way, and “make it make sense” in a practical way.

Not something that is easily done.

So now I am learning how to balance feeling everything with containing and holding it. As the year progresses it will become easier as I integrate these energies because pressure causes growth. Just as a diamond is forged under pressure this year I’ll be “forged in the fire” as well.

Yay to growth but also ……. its still hard.

And sometimes that’s just what it is , you cant always make it easier but you can get through it one day at a time.

–Angelina Astro